🌹🤎One day you burst out.
One day,
really,
that's enough.
One day you start crying again,
paradoxically,
for a bullshit.
And everyone is there to look at you,
to tell you that it is nothing,
that it is worse.
And it's true,
there is always worse...
But they don't know how long you've been throwing down,
how long you've been saying "it doesn't matter" and instead it does everything,
how long you've been fighting for yourself,
and for them.
They don't know of all the times you swallow the glass,
to the drop,
so as not to think.
They don't know when you get out of the shower and sit on the floor,
naked,
looking for a way out of yourself.
Of all the times you want to squirt your problems but then put them aside because someone else decides that his or her have priority.
Of the times when you look in the mirror and your reflection makes you sick or those in which you would like to know how to abandon yourself to a hug without necessarily seeing the shadow of a stab.
Times when you would like to screw the world up and instead you have to keep calm,
reason,
patience.
Times when you would like to pick up the phone and ask for explanations but then you give up because so much,
what good would it be ?!
They don't know that you can't take any more of anything or anyone but anyway
"oh, if you need we can drink a beer".
That you are tired of waiting;
that you are tired of having to explain,
of not having to say,
of having to be there regardless.
You are tired of always having to prove, having to give others the reassurance that you would need first.
To always question yourself,
and be the only one to do so.
Mica do they know that you feel alone,
that you are lost and do not know where to look,
that you can no longer concentrate and that at night you wake up crying.
What are your balls full of being told "you're so strong",
and then being dismissed with the usual pat on the back.
They don't know shit,
they...
"You are so strong"...
🤎💖💗💕💓💘💞💝
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