🌲🤎I write to you but...

🌲🤎I write to you but in reality I write to myself, 

I write to remember and to forget, 

to order and to confuse, 

I write to repeat and to erase, 

I write to find you and to lose you.

I write to you who can't read me, 

I write on a silent and warm evening, 

a starless evening in which my eyes are unable to see, 

yet my hands go, 

guided not by what they know but by what they would like. 

I write in the absence to imagine a presence, 

I write the aftermath of a time that seems very far away, 

a time in which it was easy to imagine oneself in any tomorrow, 

in which what had now become impossible was taken for granted, 

a time in which many words passed through eyes while now, 

not even for a moment, 

it is possible to speak in silence.

I loved that silence, 

it seemed to me that it contained the very essence of me, 

it seemed to me more understandable than the words that I now have to entrust to paper, 

with the fear of losing them along the way, 

in the wind that crosses distances, 

infinite distances.

A wind that burns and scatters, 

a wind that doesn't caress but slaps.

Precisely because I loved that silence, 

I treasured all the pauses, 

the delicate interruptions just to tell me superfluous things, 

to find out in which position I had slept, 

how I had tied up my hair, 

to ask myself banalities imbued with love, 

what had I eaten, 

if I had come home too late, 

how much work I still had to do.

I write because writing is essential and sometimes I feel like I don't know how to do anything different. 

Just making up fairy tales. 

Fairy tales that I need to melt the ice inside me.

I write because words approach and at the same time distance, 

I write because I let go, release and enchant, 

I write because it is the best way to tell you that I am still here, 

tired as few times in my existence, imagining a lighter life, 

a world with less problems, 

a shorter summer, 

something to get rid of this pain in the center of my chest.

I'm here waiting, 

still, 

for you to really exist... 

🤎💖💗💕💓💘💞💝